How do I use dental dams?

Dear Reader,  

Lack of information about using dental dams can make safer oral sex seem a little confusing! To give some background information: dental dams are thin barriers that are mainly used by dentists during dental procedures. Now, they can also be used for oral sex where the mouth contacts the vagina (cunnilingus) or anus (analingus).  They create a barrier that helps to prevent bacteria, viruses, and other pathogens from spreading during oral sex.  

Using a dental dam may feel awkward at first! Like other forms of barrier protection, such as condoms, using a dental dam can become more comfortable with practice. Luckily, there are helpful resources for how to use dental dams.  

How do I keep a dental dam in place? 

There are a few simple things you can do to position a dental dam effectively and help keep it in place during oral sex. 

To keep it in place, here are a few tips: 

• Place it over the vulva or anus. Lay the dam flat over the area that will receive oral contact. Make sure it covers the entire area you want to protect. 
• Hold the edges. You or your partner can gently hold the edges of the dam during oral sex. If it starts to move, pause and adjust it. 
• Use a small amount of lubricant (lube). Put a little water- or silicone-based lube on the side of the dam that touches the vulva. It can reduce friction, improve comfort and sensation, and may help the dam stay in place. Avoid oil-based lubes because they can damage latex and increase the risk of the barrier breaking. 
• Keep the hands holding the dam lube-free. If your fingers are covered in lube, they may be too slippery to get a good grip on the edges. If the dam moves or slips, pause and reposition it before continuing. If it tears or breaks, throw it away and use a new one. 

The more you use dental dams, the more familiar you’ll become with positioning it, holding it in place, and figuring out what works best for you and your partner. 

How should I use a dental dam when switching between sexual activities?  

Some of the confusion about dental dams might come from switching between different activities. You mention arranging things for vaginal penetration with fingers while still maintaining protection for oral sex. It might be difficult to do both at the same time! You can try to keep the dental dam in place over the area with any oral contact while inserting fingers into the vagina. You can also use a finger condom or a latex glove to prevent the spread of STIs during penetration with fingers. Another option is to use fingers around the perimeter of the dental dam.  

However, if it’s difficult to do both activities at the same time, consider putting a pause on oral sex for a moment. You can remove the dental dam when switching to vaginal penetration with fingers. If you return to oral sex afterward, don’t forget to use a new and clean dental dam to prevent the spread of any bacteria. This can help ensure the barrier is used correctly, rather than trying to adapt it to several activities at once.  

What other best practices can I use? 

A little preparation can make using a dental dam easier.  

• Check the package before opening it. Make sure the dental dam isn’t expired, torn, or damaged before you use it. If you notice any damage, use a new one. 
• Keep what you need within reach. Having a new dental dam and some water- or silicone-based lube nearby means you won’t have to stop and search for them if you need to make an adjustment or replace the dam. 
• Talk to your partner beforehand. Agree on a simple way to signal if the dental dam needs to be adjusted or if either of you wants to pause. 

Keep in mind that a dental dam may change how oral sex feels. Because the dam creates a physical barrier between the mouth and vulva, it can reduce the amount of direct pressure, warmth, and texture you feel compared to oral contact without a barrier. This difference is normal and may take some getting used to. 

Hopefully, these tips make dental dams feel a little less confusing. With some preparation and practice, you and your partner can find a way to use one that feels comfortable while keeping the barrier in place!